the madness of crowds

from subaltern by closetjudas

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lyrics

the madness has become emergent, jilted into a mental maze
i’ve been hanging fire since your departure
disorientated – is it all in vain?
the intervals of your returns kept me fixed in place
tolerating my pain
would that you had course-corrected (preventing all of this malaise)
at the start repeat detachments fueled resolve, transcended haze
conditioned by the unpredictable; reinforced to not complain
but time’s destructive, patience levels
renders steadfast hearts moraine
where once i looked through windows, longing
all i do now is shoegaze

was it not crystal-clear it’s only you that i adore?
when did crowds of strangers become more preferred than me?
all we ever wanted was to rest in the same plot
did you double-book yourself? cause it seems like you forgot

maybe i was far too trusting, naïvely thinking i could be...
...enough to captivate attention, fending off your need for more
but no arrangement can keep on if it demands an open door
fair-weather partnership be damned, commitment is at no time free
all i ask for is a signal of your fixed affinity
a sign that i should not give up after i’ve been wrongly ignored
i won’t bow out, i defy gloom, that’s my resolve
now – what is yours?
blink once to relay acceptance, or twice if you should disagree

all this waiting, waiting makes me numb, confused, distraught
am i not in my right mind to think i’m due a second thought
or is this what you prefer? (me – alone – with collar + chain)
am i some kind of dog to you, who when not spoken to obeys?

your leaving left me nonplussed, baby
abadoned in a vacant lot

credits

from subaltern, released May 1, 2022

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about

closetjudas Winnipeg, Manitoba

"closetjudas" is the moniker given to the music written, recorded + produced by mike powell, who is from the suburban sprawl that is mississauga (ontario). now living near winnipeg (manitoba), mike powell continues to record music that is truly independent + not-for-profit. this means he doesn't want your money...seriously. give it all to the charity "TINY CHANGES": tinychanges.com ... more

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