Name: the madness of crowds
Duration: P00H03M39S
Description: if ever the person that one values the most in the world doesn't commensurately reciprocate affection, it can be supremely disheartening. this was the case for melanie bird, who's husband oliver became so consumed by a pursuit of enlightenment that he abandoned their relationship for years - choosing fantasy over actuality, to the detriment of them both.

the madness of crowds

from subaltern: (un)classified by closetjudas

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if ever the person that one values the most in the world doesn't commensurately reciprocate affection, it can be supremely disheartening. this was the case for melanie bird, who's husband oliver became so consumed by a pursuit of enlightenment that he abandoned their relationship for years - choosing fantasy over actuality, to the detriment of them both.

lyrics

the madness has become emergent, jilted into a mental maze
i’ve been hanging fire since your departure
disorientated – is it all in vain?
the intervals of your returns kept me fixed in place
tolerating my pain
would that you had course-corrected (preventing all of this malaise)
at the start repeat detachments fueled resolve, transcended haze
conditioned by the unpredictable; reinforced to not complain
but time’s destructive, patience levels
renders steadfast hearts moraine
where once i looked through windows, longing
all i do now is shoegaze

was it not crystal-clear it’s only you that i adore?
when did crowds of strangers become more preferred than me?
all we ever wanted was to rest in the same plot
did you double-book yourself? cause it seems like you forgot

maybe i was far too trusting, naïvely thinking i could be...
...enough to captivate attention, fending off your need for more
but no arrangement can keep on if it demands an open door
fair-weather partnership be damned, commitment is at no time free
all i ask for is a signal of your fixed affinity
a sign that i should not give up after i’ve been wrongly ignored
i won’t bow out, i defy gloom, that’s my resolve
now – what is yours?
blink once to relay acceptance, or twice if you should disagree

all this waiting, waiting makes me numb, confused, distraught
am i not in my right mind to think i’m due a second thought
or is this what you prefer? (me – alone – with collar + chain)
am i some kind of dog to you, who when not spoken to obeys?

your leaving left me nonplussed, baby
abadoned in a vacant lot

credits

from subaltern: (un)classified, released May 1, 2022

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about

closetjudas Winnipeg, Manitoba

"closetjudas" is the moniker given to the music written, recorded + produced by mike powell, who is from the suburban sprawl that is mississauga (ontario). now living near winnipeg (manitoba), mike powell continues to record music that is truly independent + not-for-profit. this means he doesn't want your money...seriously. give it all to the charity "TINY CHANGES": tinychanges.com ... more

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